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Free Onyxia Pet: WoW 5th Aniversay Date

That's pet! Blizzard promises this one won't piss on your rug or defile your zergling!

All you have to do is log in on November 23, 2009.

And of course, our exclusive image:

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McQoqenspiel's UI (Addons and config summary)

Hey everyone, here's the latest NinjaCamp WoW movie. It's split into two parts because it's a little longer. I've had quite a few questions about the addons I use, and here are the details. The full addon list is below the movies. Thanks!

Here's the full list:

Auctioneer Full Suite
Ackis Recipe List
AH Search
Atlas Loot
-Baggins Itemrack
Bartender 4
Basic Chat Mods
Fortress (Broker)
Deadly Boss Mods
Elkano's Buffbars
Lil Sparky's Workshop
Miks Scrolling Battle Text
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How to use Quick Auctions 2 to sell lots of items at once in World of Warcraft - a video tutorial

Have you ever needed to sell a bunch of something on the auction house? It can take forever to list them one by one, and even using Auctioneer batching can be frustrating. Our latest video covers using the excellent addon Quick Auctions 2 to post many related auctions at once, saving you a bunch of time in the process. As always, we will try to answer all the comments we can and we appreciate your support.

Leave feedback or digg us if you like it, thanks!
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How to use Auctioneer to sell items in World of Warcraft - a video tutorial

Ever tried to use Auctioneer out of the box? It's pretty confusing! Here at NinjaCamp we try to help out the confused masses with excellent video tutorials! We are going to address several aspects of auctioneer, but to start with we will cover the basics: selling stuff. Check out the video and you should be able to scan the auction house and then sell the stuff in your bags at correct prices.

Leave feedback or digg us if you like it, thanks!
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Who we are, and where we play

I'm getting a lot of fan mail asking "Do you play WoW?"

The short answer is yes. The long answer started five and a half years ago with a beta key and a dream. Both NinjaS (McQoqenspiel) and NinjaF (Syeris) spend time in the World of Warcraft when not watching ninja themed porno.

We mostly play on the realm Terenas as members of the most feared fighting force, The Kielbasa Squadron.

Additionally, you may run up against the badmamajamma Vienna Meat Plow, our hard core 2v2 death squad.

So feel free to come and join the party! Drop us a line at if you need any more information.
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Don't let the commies win!

Get the new Flash Player if you run Windows, apparenty they figured out a way to introduce a keylogger to nab your login info if you hit various WoW websites. Check for those files on your pc as well!
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Breaking News!! World of Warcraft loses 50% of all subscribers

(FYI: Sometimes you have to just say bullshit things to get attention when you're a tiny ninja blog)

However, let's face it folks, China just banned gold farming! That means a huge amount of subscribers are going...going...gone.

In a snap decision, Blizzard made a statement saying "We are planning on adding Gold Farming NPCs in patch 3.2." It is good to see that all hope is not lost, and that a virtual Chinese Gnome will still be "spawn-camping" whatever quest I am currently working on.

In related news, My Dixie Wrecked!
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How to fight in the Argent Tournament - A Video Tutorial

Our first in a long line of video World of Warcraft tutorials here on NinjaCamp. Enjoy! Feedback is welcome as we get the wrinkles out of our process...

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The Good Old Days :)

So, I dug this up tonight while looking for some files for a top secret project. Ninja F and I submitted this fucker to Blizzard to win beta spots in the original WoW. I don't think they liked our language or something...

Clearly the best comic ever, except for the misuse of "your". That is like my worst pet peeve, I can't believe I did it!
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We got Jizz!

As it turns out, Mountain Dew in their quest to push their products, forces you to go to their site every day for a five pack of the battle-bot fuel. Once you log back into the game your mailbox will be filled with this awkward "five pack" (don't sodas come in six packs). You can then use the magic jizz to power up your robot pal.

Crazy enough, red ones fight blue ones, and blue ones fight red ones, and orange ones hat ethnicities. Also, if you get two or more of the same color bots together they will send love sparks toward each other. It's fairly erotic.

Jizzless Battlebot

I'd recommend everyone who doesn't already have one of these little guys get to clicking the Mountain dew link on this site right away. Each time you sign up a baby elephant poops!
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Link Frenzy & Doggy Style Teen Porn (for the SEO)

Alright peepers, I'm the master of looking up random shit on WoW all day when I should be working. I have a few good links for you from the less-traveled World of Warcraft internets. Hit it:

All-around good shit: - A new one I found that really helps in finding the harder-to-locate blogs out there. - Data mining in the armory for fun and profit - MEATPLOW

WTF all the good Druid bloggers just quit WoW.

Tanks: - yes - for all classes

Warlocks: - Good blog in a sea of crappy and outdated lock info
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Mt. Dew BATTLE-BOT sans Jizz

So, I love my new Mt. Dew battle-bot, but I can't find the fucking jizz you fill it with? Without this magic love juice, the bot just kind of stands around looking stupid.

Jizzless Battlebot

It does however honk and squeak like the love child of R2-D2 and a chipmunk, which I'm sure will be fun for the upcoming Battle-Bot orgies.

Jizzless Battlebot

All in all, I'd say this whole marketing inside of WoW thing isn't looking too horrible...yet.

Jesus you can't spell - editor
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@#$%^&! - AKA Heroic Watch Him Die Strategy

I put together a group to start trying the Azjul'Nerub hard achievements, thinking it would take us 30 minutes since at this point we're into Ulduar and have cleared naxx half a dozen times.

After 2 hours of wipes, we couldn't finish Watch Him Die. It's like we need 5 facerolling Death Knights for this shit! Here's some awesome art to describe the encounter:

We tried several strats we read on Wowhead. The first was zerging. They completely whipped our asses on this one even with a goddamned amazing tank! Too many weird web and cc effects.

We then tried doing one group at a time, and we got to the 3rd group and even pulled the boss. The blinding guy is a cheating bastard and wiped us a few times, and those are the times we didn't get wrapped first.

So, I present you with sound strategies for next time!

With our group makeup I think this is the best strat to use:

1. Unzip our pants, and don't kill any of the little bastard critters in the tunnel
2. I pull all the mobs
3. Repent and Shackle (why the fuck didn't we shackle last night? I totally forgot) the 2 Skirmishers because they hit like an angry foster parent
4. I kite the fuckers all the way to the top of the instance. I pop lots of cooldowns and buy you lots of time. Apparently the watchers are extremely slow, and without skirmishers beating my ass I think I can last quite a while like this. By the time I die and the watchers return-
5. Chris tanks the boss in DPS mode and you fuck him sideways
6. Profit

Alternate strategy!
1. Cut a hole in that box
2. Pull one group at a time like last night
3. After the 2nd group, pull the boss. Crowd control on the 2 non- watcher mobs in the 3rd group.
4. Mark will set up a focus macro to constantly focus on and interrupt the 3rd watcher. THIS IS THE ASSHOLE that blinds us all. It's a 2 second cast, and Mark has played Super Mario Brothers.
5. Kill boss with 3 watchers and 2 CC'd mobs up.
6. Stick your junk in the box.
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For the Horde!

Just to let everyone know...The Squadron officially supports the Horde. Additionally we now support Mountain Dew since they are giving away a free in game pet. FYI...I'm a pet whore!

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Heroic Culling of Stratholme - Getting Your Dragon!

Hello all, we've become pretty good at this and I thought I would post some tips and tricks. In the Heroic version of Culling of Stratholme, you have the opportunity to get a Bronze Drake for someone in your party. You have 25 minutes from the time wave 1/10 begins to kill all 10 waves, get through the building with the Infinite Dragonflight, through the gauntlet, and then finally kill the dragon boss to claim your mount. Here are few pointers to get you going:

  1. You need to have decent gear. Most of this is a DPS race, you have to have heroic gear to be able to do this successfully.
  2. We were only successful in a group with one healer. We tried a few times with 2 healers because of availability, but we wiped both times with one minute left, low DPS unable to get the boss down. Heartbreaking!
  3. For the first 10 waves, you should be able to run nonstop and know where you're going at all times. That means starting off right on top of the first wave of ghouls and making quick work of them. As soon as the flag for the next wave shows on your map, your tank should be taking off and going. Ignore zombies along the way, they will be part of the AOE destruction at your destination. We find that getting casters down first in all instances works well, and AOEing every group. The bosses in these waves are both very easy. You get a slight break after Meathook (wave 5), use it to reposition the party at the middle so the next wave is a short run in either direction. We can usually get through these 10 waves with at least 17 minutes left on the timer in our best group.
  4. After wave 10, sprint to the door of the next location, kill all the zombies, and wait for Arthas. As soon as he arrives talk to him so he advances the story. A good tank will know exactly where to position himself to pick up the dragonflight as they spawn in this part of the instance. On the pull where you have casters at one end of the hallway and melee at the other, have the tank stand with the casters and have melee DPS pull the melee into the meatgrinder of AOE from the other end of the hall. The boss here is also cake, and a good metric is that if you get the boss down with 7 minutes or more remaining, you have a good shot at getting your mount. But you have to hurry!
  5. It's very important that the SECOND the boss comes down that you talk to Arthas, he has to open the bookshelf for you. Now you have a choice. If you 10 minutes or more, I recommend talking to Arthas at the bottom of the stairs and doing the guantlet normally. If you're around 7 or under, don't talk to Arthas again after the bookshelf! He spawns more adds and makes the guantlet take a bit longer. The only downside is that to finish the instance you have to go back and reclear the guantlet if you don't talk to him at the bottom of the stairs.
  6. The guantlet is very chaotic and very fun. It depends a lot on the tank's situational awareness and his knowledge of his party and what they can handle. The basic strategy is to pick out the elites from the mob, charge them, get enough threat to hold them, and pick out the next elite, etc. You have to know how much your party can handle and when to stop, and a lot of it depends on how much time you have left. Usually we take 3-4 elites and 10-20 zombies at a time. You have to move fast, but wiping is worse than moving slow. It's hard to keep threat on everything here while charging around grabbing more adds so apologize to your dps beforehand :P
  7. Run through the gate to the unburned part of Strat and RUN PAST THE END BOSS. You don't need to go down that tunnel to get your drake. At the end of the other tunnel is the time boss, grab him and tank him. Make sure your healer is within range of your tank. He isn't hard and has about 400k hp, so you can kill him pretty easily even with only 2 minutes left. We used to pull him away, but we ran out of time on one attempt and he runs so quickly back to the portal that kiting him away doesn't help. You simply can't catch him to finish him off so wasting the time kiting isn't worth it.
  8. Loot your new mount!
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Annoying shit about Love is in the Air

Alright, we're in a heated race to pimp ourselves over the major capitals of the world this week for the Love is in the Air event. Since everyone except Syeris (he's averse to carnal, orgasmic pleasure and fast things) wants a proto-drake before 2031 we're doing everything! I'm compiling a few helpful hints from your friends at the Squadron. Horde only, as Alliance is terribad.

  1. First-off, let's not reinvent the wheel. Here is a great guide. But, there are still some extras they don't include.
  2. For Heartmender, don't worry- there is no fucking way to tell if someone is heartbroken without clicking every bastard in the city. Really convenient. Luckily people will shout it out, and you should go somewhere obvious and shout out that you have bracelets and a hankerin' to use them.
  3. Make sure you grab some booze before heading to the UC for Flirting with Disaster. Cheap is good, but you can always visit the AH if you're lazy- I couldn't find any vendors with the stuff there though.
  4. Nearest and Dearest is ridiculous. The dude is farther away than Haley's fucking Comet, and harder to find. First, fly to Tarren Mill in Hillsbrad. Then, head due east across the river. When you hit mountains, you should be able to find a ziggy-zaggy path heading up the slope. This is the path to Ravenholdt, also known as the most useless fucking reputation I've ever earned as a player. When you go through the cave you'll see the manor. Walk PAST the manor to the edge of the cliff, and head North along the cliff path. Dude is at the end of the path, at 89.2, 74.9.
  5. Nation of Adoration has some awesome quirks no one tells you about as well. First of all, if you don't have the adored debuff, DON'T speak to a guard if you want this achievement. Doing so will give you the wrong goddamned thing and you'll have to wait another hour for it. YOU MUST DO THIS TO A NON-GUARD for the achievement. Ridiculous, yes. In the UC, the mushroom vendor that travels around the top ring will work. In Orgrimmar, use Warcaller Gorlach right off the bird tower.
  6. My Love is like a Red, Red, Rose. the only news here is that even though it says you can use a red bouquet, you can't still get them. You must be high-level and you must get the ebon roses unless you already had the red from last year. Easiest thing to do is run Utgarde Keep once for each person in your party, you just have to kill the first boss. 100% drop rate but only 1 per trip. CONVENIENCE FTW.
  7. Fistful of love is annoying, but you can get achievement trackers so that when you roll over people it tells you if you need to molest them or not. I have the pleasure of being a target molestation class, so I'm always bathed in a masculine rose petal shower. I recommend doing some battlegrounds to get all the right combinations. I'm sure allies will stand still for you >.>
  8. I Pitied the Fool is just their lame attempt at making sure you are 80 to do all of this. Why can't they just put a goddamned level requirement on the drake? Have fun traveling all over the world emoting to inanimate objects. I'm not bitter ><
  9. for Lonely?, there are two things. First, you have to be in Dalaran, which requires actually reading the achievement. Nazz, that was for you. Second, you just need to find someone with it, you don't need the basket yourself.
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Kielbasa is in the Air!

Been a while, but we're back now! Everyone has been hard at work leveling to 80. Killbasa, being the bitch he is, hit it 5 months ago while we were all level 4. The dude doesn't sleep, we're all jealous. The rest of us are in our mid 70's now and going strong. We've worked our way through all of the pre-80 content at this point. The best was probably running Gundrak at about 4 levels lower than we should have been (except Killbasa *sigh*) and kicking ass.

Last night we decided to kill Onyxia (she has a huge sack) and then dick around with the world event for a bit. More on that in a few! The cool thing is that last night, even without Trallyne, we had 10 people over level 60. We have a raid! I can't fucking wait until we are all 80's and kicking ass :P
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How to Catch Old Ironjaw, the Total Asshole

Alright, so I'm a sick individual. The coolest thing in World of Warcraft to me is the achievement Accomplished Angler. How badass does Salty McQoqenspiel sound!? I'm not yet halfway through this achievement, although last night I took a few key steps. I got my lure quest for Deadliest Catch, completed the Scavenger, and finally caught Old Ironjaw!

For those of you interested in this little bastard here are a few pointers:
  1. First, make sure you don't have anything to do for like 10 fucking hours, or make sure you're fine logging in and out while standing on molten lava in a goddamned enemy city for a few days.
  2. Fly to Kargath, the closest Horde point. If you're alliance, then eat shit.
  3. Run north through the alliance zones Fairy Pixie Land and Elven Sweetcheeks Valley until you get to the ramp at the bottom of the entrance to Ironforge.
  4. At this point, I hope you're high-level. You really should be, because you can't get Salty until you can A) Fly and B) frollick around Northrend fishing places. The guards in Ironforge will bend you over and fuck you sideways, so expect to die several times getting to the magic fishing spot. Let's call it the G-spot.
  5. Basically at this point you jet up the ramp as fast as you can and run as far as you can until you die from guards jacking you or alliance screwing with you. Your basic path should be to first get to the top of the ramp. Then, hang a left and get inside, running straight into the city. It will open up a bit and you'll go across some lava. Right ahead you'll see a doorway on your left, head for that. Run through the tunnel and it should deposit you right in front of the main forge area. You'll see two giant wheels, left and right. What you need to do is make it as close to the right wheel as possible before dying, and preferably die in the lava pool attached to the right wheel. Just jump right in that shit and die!
  6. Come back as a ghost but don't res quite yet. This is the trick. Swim towards the wheel until you're up against the wall. You should be able to jump out of the lava as normal. There is an invisible shelf where the hub of the wheel is. The best way to jump up and land on this shelf is to keep jmping against the wall, edging closer to the center of the wheel each time. Eventually you'll jump up out of the lava, edge closer, and land on the G-spot. STAY STILL! turn to face the lava, res, and start fishing. You'll have to zoom the camera all the way back and put it directly above your dude. It's a pain in the ass but allies usually don't screw with you here. If they do, they usually die which is funny to watch because they don't know how to get on the ledge.
  7. Fish for 100 fucking hours, this jerk is as rare as a cool republican. Seriously, it took me 500 casts. The good news is that I leveled fishing past 300 doing it. You can also level an entire guild of alts' cooking with the shitty fish you catch.
Catch the bitch and port the hell out!
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Stratholme and Dire Maul

Back again from Sunday when we decided the best thing to do was to finally complete the Classic Dungeonmaster!

First stop: Stratholme
Admittedly we were way overpowered for both of these instances on Sunday. It's been a issue we've had the whole time really. There is so much content and leveling is so fast now that you simply can't do it all at an appropriate level. I have a feeling BC is going to be a blur. Killbasa is almost 67 and we've only done one Burning Crusade instance! Anyways, we breezed through Strat, what a great job by Blizz on this place. It brought back a lot of cool memories and Oni and Trallyne got to see it for the first time which is cool. Can't wait to see the new Caverns of Time version in Wrath of the Lich King! Nothing to stumble on here, we murdered everything in short order and I was able to ninja most of the Holy Water boxes. Syeris and Killbasa were bitching back and forth at each other about how unfair Death Knights are too so it was entertaining for all!

And then: Dire Maul
DIre Maul is pretty fantastic. I've leveled 2 other toons to 70 and I've been playing since beta but for some reason I never got here much. It was cool to see all the wings again. It was getting late and we just wanted the achievement so we burned through and avoided what we could. Trallyne decided to make things interesting and pulled like 450 trees and flowers and bag ladies and whatever the hell else is in that place and we did wipe once. It's ok, he's been flogged. Other than that we pwnd face and everyone but Syeris and Killbasa got their achievement! Syeris, have fun in the Stockade. Killbasa, have fun soloing half of WoW :P
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5-Man Upper Blackrock Spire


On Wednesday the squadron put their nuts in the soup big time and attempted a 5-man UBRS run. Our lowest level is 57 and our highest was 62, which means we have nuts of steel because the shit is designed for 10 people of level 60.

It actually ran pretty smoothly, mostly because we are a well-oiled killing machine at this point. We blew right through the first mobs, got to the fire dude and kicked his ass too. So at this point my dumb ass was convinced we could do the Leroy Jenkins achievement. We grouped up and came up with a plan. Syeris was going to run through a bajillion eggs and bubble as soon as he needed to. At the same time, I was supposed to run through a bajillion eggs and then we were going to meet up in the middle, guaranteeing we would have at least 50 whelps and then AOE the everliving shit out of them. We executed the plan flawlessly! Unfortunately, this meant we had 900 FUCKING BILLION whelps. They killed us after we had 17 down. Gonna try that one again at 70!

So we breezed through the rest, teabagged Rend, kicked the crap out of the Beast (no skin) and then wiped on the damn pull right outside the beast's lair. In our defense it's always been the hardest pull in the place in my opinion. Also in our defense, I forgot the big dragons are immune to cc. So, we planned it pretty well but when all of our cc failed they kicked our ass.

Finally, we got to General Drakkisath! I have to say our strategy for this was top-notch balls-to-the-wall sweetness. The second time anyways. The first time, I got a huge ego and decided I could just tank all three until we killed them all one-by-one. That's fantastic unless your tank gets confused and all three go and fuck the rest of your party sideways. So the second time around I tanked the two adds and Killbasa tanked the general until we had the guards down. Syeris and Onizuka id a bomb-ass job of running around healing people who needed it and we kicked his ass! Loot was alright but with BC pretty much useless. We did get the achievement and we'll be back for Jenkins later...
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Sausage in the Toaster

Meet the Kielbasa Squadron, our World of Warcraft Guild on US Terenas. 3 of us had happily quit Warcraft and moved on with our lives, and then Farina decided to fuck us all over again by scheduling 2 nights a week. Damn him! He also conned 2 of his friends from work. Here's the breakdown:

Farina: Syeris (Paladin) - Gayer than John Tesh and half the man...Syeris is a constant target of kielbasa humor and New Kids on the Block jokes.

Robby: Trallyne (Mage) - I was fucking jacked when I found out we would have a mage, they can port me places when I'm too lazy to walk there. His specialties include having a virtual vagina and irl penis, turning shit into sheep, and competing for DPS with:

Sean: Onizuka (Shadow Priest) - We just found out last night he can turn into a goddamned cloud of shadows which is pretty sweet. He also dots the crap out of stuff and heals my furry ass in a pinch. Sean and Robby are definitely rocking the Basa!

Chris: Killbasa (Death Knight) - Chris was a member of our original squad and is pretty hardcore. Lately we've been making fun of him for switching from a Hunter to a DK, who are completely unfair and were designed for autistic 9 year-olds.

Jeremy (Moi): Mcqoqenspiel (Feral Druid) - I am loving my feral druid tank, just as much as I loved my other feral tank. It's looking like Blizzard has made it a point to make them as good as warriors for tanking so I'm pretty pumped for later levels and tanking the harder content.

Look for more posts about the squadron as our adventures continue!
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Welcome to The Squadron!

In honor of the sweet, sweet Great Kielbasa the Kielbasa Squadron now has this delioucious new blog. Please feel free to pleasure yourself to the short stories and reviews of the Squadron.

Also be sure to read every single day...even if the content hasn't changed! READ IT AGAIN! Don't make me slap you with some sausage!