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Raid Report 2/09

Magmaw down and Maloriak is going to be easy on Sunday. Please watch videos for Maloriak, Chimaeron, and Atramedes before Sunday. Thanks!

Report is here...
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Raid Report 1/23

Here you go.

Use this as your DPS baselines, you should never be doing less than that fight!
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Raid Report 1/19


I shortcutted to the poison bomb section, to highlight a few things. First, are you taking too much damage from them? thats the first table.

Second, are you switching to them DPS? We had bad dps on these last night, ALL DPS must switch to them immediately. Check out the rest of your data, damage done and then figure out what was killing you. It ws overall a big improvement from the last one. Thanks!
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When Deathwing Attacks

Figured I'd show you what you get to see when Deathwing randomly attacks your happy questing area.

Then he lights things on fire...

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Raid Report 1/15

Here it is

Do not cry! We will get the hang of this shit soon.
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Raid Report 1/12

Here you go!

If you havent used a raid report before, you can sort through data at the top with the menus. Click your name to see details. The default view I;ve given you is the average damage for each person over all Magmaw encounters.

Right now our Achilles heel is DPS, we are not doing enough to be raiding. Please find a way to improve, there is room for improvement for all 6 of us. I'm happy to help if asked. Thanks!
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Heroic Ozruk = Hunters' Bane...Or Is He

Greetings Fellow Hunters!

By now, I'm sure most of you have had the unfortunate experience of fighting Ozruk in Heroic Stonecore. Just the other day, our guild made our first encounter with him. I was bitching and whining that there was nothing I could do to avoid Paralyze. This fight should be easy, one where hunters shine since we don't have to move at all. Just stand still and spam the rotation. I enjoy watching the tank jump around ping-ponging between the walls. However, Blizzard doesn't want you to just burn him down. Enter Ozruk's spell arsenal. Especially, his Paralyze ability, which is the most frustrating part of the fight since it is not breakable by any of our abilities. We must rely on someone to free us from our state or suffer the 50k damage when the spell expires. There is nothing worse that being stopped mid-rotation and then having your health pool halved. But, fear not! I have found the answer. It turns out you can imbibe during the fight.

That's right, the [Sulfuron Slammer]. Just before the Paralyze, make a toast to Ozruk and drink up. Upon drinking the Sulfuron Slammer, you receive a DoT of 4HP per second for 5 seconds. Just enough time to break the Paralyze yourself. Vanilla WoW to the rescue. I was rolling on the floor laughing at this most basic of solutions. I was like, "4HP per second?! How could anyone endure such a crippling DoT? I mean, my base health is only 106,000." I assume this will work for everyone. The only catch is that it makes you drunk. I mean "Drunk" like you smeared Vaseline all over your monitor drunk.

This is a wonderful exploit that will likely be short lived as it's popularity increases. So, start farming and stay thirsty my friends.

EDIT: I just realized that I forgot to tell your where to get his miraculous beverage. You purchase it from Plugger Spazzring in the Grim Guzzler Bar in BRD. You can use Direbrew's Remote for a quicker trip.
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Cataclysm Raid Schedule

Hey all, With our leveling speed I thought it would be good to get a Cataclysm raid on the calendar. It would be earlier but with the holidays it rarely works. Here it is:


Dec 15: Regular 5s, Heroics
Dec 19: Heroics
Dec 22: Heroics
Dec 26: Heroics
Dec 29: Heroics
Jan 2: Heroics
Jan 5: Our first Cataclysm Raid

This should give everyone ample time to level and gear themselves. Please don't log in on a Wednesday or Sunday night if you don't want to run instances with your guild, it pisses me off a lot because we could really use your help. Obviously there will be a lot of holiday people out so that's why we are holding until January to raid.


As the date approaches I will research the raids and come up with a strategy for our first night. You guys will be expected to know the fights as usual, thanks!
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Critter Killing

OK, so I got a little bored at work, but didn't want to commit to doing a dungeon (PUG's make me suicidal) or questing (trying to level with hundreds of other people in the same zone makes me homicidal). In an effort to appease my guild officers, I figured I would follow the MOTD's orders and "MURDER ALL CRITTERS OR /GKICK". I recalled that there is a nice spot in Howling Fjord (jah, da fjord!) where these stupid turkeys spawn like crazy. I fly my happy ass up there and "Hooray!", the turkeys count for the achievement "Critter Kill Squad". I tried targeting them manually and was getting pissed off, so, using my leet programming skills, I created a macro to target them and shoot them with a push of a button:

/tar [nodead] fjord turkey

It works very well (at least for my hunter) and I killed about 500 turkeys in 30 minutes. I just ran around and pressed the "1" key. (This must be what it's like to play as a mage.) If anyone else has the time or patience, kill the turkeys so we all can get a vanity pet (I assume that's why, since that's the reward). If you find another zone with a high population of cute fuzzy critters to mutilate, then you can just replace "fjord turkey" in the macro. The "[nodead]" is recommended; otherwise, you will be targeting dead bodies (very annoying). Good luck grinding out the 50,000 kills.
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Pilgrim's Peril + The Shattering = PAIN IN MY ASS!

So, in an effort to save 5000 gold, multiplied by several characters, I'm starting to think that the gold is worth it. Case in point: Now that the anticipated "Shattering" has taken place, the boats to Darnassus from Auberdine (Darkshore) have gone away. There are only a few ways of actually getting to Darnassus now.

Option 1: A new boat now comes from Stormwind docks, which are located deep inside Stormwind. There is no fucking way I am going to run all the way through Stormwind to catch a boat. So, option 1 is definitely out.

Option 2: Swim across. I tried this before with complete failure. My hunter died in the middle of the water after the "Fatigue" bar (from now on referred to as the "Faggot" bar) reached zero. Trying to get my body back, the Faggot bar appeared while I am a ghost. I didn't know DEAD ghosts could Fatigue. Guess what happens when the Faggot bar hits zero and your a ghost? YOU'RE FUCKING BODY DISAPPEARS AND YOU CAN'T RESURRECT. You have to talk to the Spirit Healer and take the 25% damage to your gear and the Res Sickness. Hooray, 100+ gold repair bill. That was before, now Blizzard had the forethought to at least make the distance to swim a little shorter. I did make it across, only after the Faggot bar hit zero again and I died. My ghost was able to run all the way across and then back-track to my body. I resurrected and swam the rest of the way just before the Faggot bar hit zero. This probably would have been easier with a Death Knight (Path of Frost) or a Shaman (Water Walking). I was doing this solo. I guess a swim potion would have helped. But, that thought didn't occur to me until I died from the Faggot bar. So, now we have made it across the dangerous water and eluded the Faggot bar. Oh, hey a welcoming party is greeting me on the shore. Oh, they are 85 elite guards. OH SHIT! They kill you in 3 hits...all Crushing Blows. And you're dead. Who has two thumbs and gets to run across the water again to fetch his body...AGAIN? THIS GUY! Alive again, I finally get through the portal into Darnassus. Oh, sweet more guards and I die just two steps from the portal. Now is a good time to mention that the goal for the "Pilgrims' Peril" achievement is to sit at the feast tables in each of the enemy capital cities. Anyone know where the tables are relative to the portal you walk through? ON THE FUCKING OTHER SIDE OF THE CITY! I yell, "Fuck you Blizzard!" And, I take the res from the spirit healer. I ride in from the entrance to Darnassus and take a seat at the feast table. I'm able to mount and get the fuck out of town.

That's one character down, 2 to more to go. That fiasco might be worth the 5000 gold to avoid. We'll see. I'm off to find a way to the feast tables outside Exodar. Wish me luck.

- Guest poster Varztok, mostly against his will